follow the jaw line down over the heart

winter and you

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 04:31:36 GMT

let's make the most of it. let's bundle up and go ice skating, drink hot chocolate, play in the snow until we're drenched and our fingers are frostbitten, let's catch snowflakes on our tongue and on our eyelashes, let's sit inside by a warm fire and listen to cocorosie. you can teach me how to spin your turntables and i'll just watch and pretend like im listening when really, im just taking in the feeling of being close to you and saving it as a memory to come back to when im in a rare state of loneliness.

snow angels, christmas lights on trees and poles, the refreshing feeling of the days brisk on our rosy cheeks, my right hand in your left hand in your left pocket, our breaths synchronized, my shivers, your squinted eyes. you walk me to the bus stop although we both know where we want to be.

yeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh im crushin'. i shouldn't be.

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 00:41:16 GMT

i still update, sometimes.

this summer:
+ over 1k for graduation, not including gift certificates!
+ great job at the exchange
+ i got my permit!
- so bored most of the time
+ single!!! all summer
+/- growing close with different people, distancing myself from my better friends, unintentionally
- not reading :(
- soulseek is introducing me to greater things beyond what i usually listen to
+ my haircut is summer-friendly AND adorable
+/- kissing way too many boys lately, cant even keep it with it
- crying, worrying.
- used, feeling unwanted
- meeting too many fake people, keep a safe distance from me please!!

this summer needs to get better REAL fast

hopefully im looking forward to 2 roadtrips in the summer: indiana with sofia from the 7th to the 12th and new york city with tabby from the 15th to probably like the 19th.

i start college august 22nd. all grown up!
make plans with me, yes.

Mon, 10 Jul 2006 17:44:05 GMT

NEW JOURNAL
NEW JOURNAL
NEW JOURNAL

GOODHEARTS
GOODHEARTS
GOODHEARTS
GOODHEARTS
GOODHEARTS
GOODHEARTS
GOODHEARTS
GOODHEARTS
GOODHEARTS
GOODHEARTS
GOODHEARTS
GOODHEARTS

New start for me.
Add it, please.
:)

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 06:01:31 GMT

I don't know how to feel. Everything seems so planned out. I feel like everything I do, someone already knows that I'm going to do it, they know what's bound to happen. It's the most awful feeling ever, knowing that someone knows more about yourself than you know.

I just want to be alone sometimes. I just want to take walks alone, eat dinner alone. I don't even want my family around sometimes. It's like I'm split in half. Sometimes I love being around my friends, I love my boyfriend, I love my life, I'm a happy little girl. And then other times, I feel like crap. I don't want to be around anyone, and I doubt the relationship I have with the most amazing boy ever. I know I shouldn't, I know I shouldn't act like this. I'm screaming on the inside. And crying and laughing at the same time. I have all these mixed feelings about the most random things.

I feel like I should be helping people. I feel so selfish and vain when I stand in front of my mirror putting on craploads of makeup, telling myself "I deserve better." I don't deserve anything at all, if you ask me. I wish I could just go with the flow. It seems like everyone has it so good. I miss school. I miss having something to do everyday, priorities. I'm such a lazy piece of shit, and no one knows it. I feel like everyone's so much better than me, and they know things I don't know. I'm just normal and plain, trying to follow the crowd. I don't want to feel like this anymore.

I'll be completely fucking honest. I want to start over. I want to move away, and bring everything I've ever loved. And I'm not talking about just ANYTHING. I would bring Sofia because she brightens every single day of mine, and I would bring Tabby because I love her entirely way too much and they've both taught me everything that I need to know to be myself. That was confusing.
But I would also bring 1 person, boy or girl, around the same age. Someone I could introduce myself to as a different person, and learn everything about, vice versa.

I feel like spilling my secrets to a complete stranger: But I have no secrets. That's the problem. I wish I could just keep something to myself for once. I'm not making any sense.

bye ocean floor: i just cnat believe you wouldnt say anything bein my gurll and all but its cool
bye ocean floor: i was hurt so much because ____ would stoop so low with his standards
masceruhhh: im not going to hate on anyone, im not trying to get involved

^^^
I think that's the smartest thing I've said in a really really really long time.

I'm feeling so weird right now.
I've never felt like this before.
I think I want to cry,
but I pretend to be so happy that I can't.

Everything is perfect for me. Any girl would be lucky to be me. I don't know why I feel like this. It'll all blow over by tomorrow though.
I'll be happy little addie again, no worries.

:-/

( I don't expect you to read all of this or have any advice for me to follow... I wouldn't either if I were you.)

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 11:44:52 GMT

Life is good.
Sofia and I are talking again.
(Or should I say 'fuckin' again'.)

Tonight I get to see (my boys!) Once Nothing, August Burns Red, #12llu, BTBAM, and Job For A Cowboy. I keep calling this show the 'summer kick-off.' Wow, I'm gay.
I can't wait to see Neal :D. I'm driving with Sofia and Tabby, and Cassie will be there! Bryant might go, but I haven't talked to Sofia about his ticket. Idk, Idk. All I know is that tonight is going to be amazing, as usual.

I put my long extensions back in again, I missed them kinda. I did them really carefully and they look nice. This summer, I'm going to get the kind that you sew in, so they shouldn't be as gross and stuff. :D

I'm a happy happy happy girl right now

I'd still love you if you told me you just walked away...

Wed, 24 May 2006 11:48:29 GMT

I made a new journal, but I don't think I'm adding anyone from this one.
I'm going to make it for my other friends, not my REAL friends.
I just need to talk to someone that doesn't know me as well as you do.
I think I'm going to add like 2-3 people from here, that's it.

It's:
GOODHEARTS

So if I add you, then add me back.
I'm still going to use this one.

EDIT
I added these people so far:
+thechimney
+brittanykramer
+jamieskeetskeet
+____girrl
+theheartstrings

I think that's it for now.

No, I can't help but love you even with a heart that breaks...

Tue, 23 May 2006 11:44:43 GMT

eek, I have a Geometry final today.
And instead of studying, I was on the phone with Sofia for more than an hour.
Bwahahaha.
Wish me luck, I guess.

Anyway, I cut my hair last night.
Well, not my real hair. The fakies. Hahah.
It looks good though, it's not CRAZY long, but it's not short either.
I've also been wearing my glasses all week, and everyone likes them.
Plus, my teachers treat me a lot better. Like, Mr. Desano accepted a late homework and didn't take any points off!
Too bad I'm getting new ones soon. Everyone has black rimmed glasses.
Dweeeeeebs!

I'm also wearing my "Stop Genocide in Sudan" shirt today.
I like it a lot, minus the fact that it's a small and it's STILL 10x too big.

This post sucks.
But if you were wondering, I'm over Ryan.
It's funny how feelings can change overnight.

Needless to say, I'm a lot happier right now.
And that's just what I need, considering summer is almost here.
There are so many people I need to see.
This has been the best year so far. Theriouthly. :-)

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 03:10:58 GMT

COMMENT. ADD ME. I'LL ADD YOU.
xo

follow the jaw line down over the heart

winter and you

I'd still love you if you told me you just walked away...

No, I can't help but love you even with a heart that breaks...

COMMENT. ADD ME. I'LL ADD YOU.xo

COMMENT. ADD ME. I'LL ADD YOU.
xo